it's been a frustrating couple weeks since my last entry. frustrating but rewarding at the same time.
rewarding in that J and i have had some really awesome conversations about our communication, what we want for our family, school options, my going back to work..you know normal life stuff. :)
on the school front i've gone with doing it all, re-enrolling the older boys and starting a new application for M3; starting the interdistrict application process for the school in Agoura Hills; and putting the question out to our local Waldorf homeschooling families on the process and support. so much, it seems, depends upon other things. outside things i cannot control. like if i get a job.
if i get a job it will impact our family pretty significantly. if it were now we could put M2 back in school, but then there's the what to do with M3. in the Fall all would be well because all the boys would be in school together, if we stay at HHWS. the other question would be what to do about the breaks from school (Spring Break, Summer) we would have to find something for all of them.
apparently there is a waiting list at the Agoura school. so even if i wanted to switch M1 to that school this year and have M2 join him for the remainder of the year i don't know that that is possible. at least with traditional Waldorf schools there is an understanding that Waldorf kids coming from other Waldorf schools get priority over new kids. i don't know that Agoura has that. then there is still the question of M3, not only for now but for the next couple of years until he's 4. goodness! so many unanswered questions.
i just want what's best for our family and the boys education and not have suffer for the harder path we have chosen. well i guess when you choose the harder path the suffering is supposed to happen as well, but damn, we are stretched thin and some relief would be nice.
i put in an application yesterday. i feel like i need to follow up my sad little application with an explanatory phone call about the lack of information in the past employment part. being at home for the past 6yrs doesn't look great on an application.
i got a consultation with a Feng Shui expert. i am slowly making the changes, sometime it's so daunting looking at all the little things that need to be done, but then they are little things and should go quickly when i start knocking them off my list.
creativity. i am teeming with ideas. Spring is literally right around the corner i need to start working on the things for the boys baskets. as i laid in bed this morning i was thinking about the time change that's March 14th. the "real" time as opposed to the "savings" time we are on right now. how that's going to affect the boys and my sleep.
J nudged me into meditating with him for 5mins. wow that's hard when your eyes are still so heavy with sleep and it's hard to concentrate on taking slow deep breaths, counting to 4 slowly, remembering to sit up straight, keeping my tounge on the roof of my mouth, visualizing my third eye...oh man, i just wanted to go back to sleep. i did it though, and it's a beginning and i was so pleased that it was J that poked me into action.
we celebrated our 7th anniversary on the 21st. we've been riding that days goodness for a couple days now. having our patience with each other and the boys. gently reminding the other to keep it together. being open and available to hearing the gentle reminder. i'm really talking about myself at this point. the end of the day, or first start of the day is my most challenging time of keeping it together. too many things to take care of, little boys not listening and i start to spin...thank the gods for the gentle reminders and my husband.
love that man! :)
a little bit of everything today...
